So many things have been said to me about my body in my 30 years on earth. Some of them stem from lack of acceptance or someone feeling uncomfortable, and some come from a place of wanting to be supportive, or pretend to not see it as an issue. Many of them have been offensive. I think many women have heard these things, and maybe even cringed a bit.
Here are the top ten things (in my mind and experience) that you should never say to a fat girl:
Yes. Yes, I have. I’ve tried that one, and that one, and that one’s cousin. I’ve tried them all. I’ve even made up my own diets. Honest.
No, thank you. I’m happy to spend time with you, but Abercrombie and American Eagle are not my jam. My idea of a good time is not watching someone else shop for clothes I can’t fit into. I’m 100% certain that we can find something else to do… something we both enjoy. This is just not how I wish to spend my quality time with you.
Thank you so much! Oh wait, was that code for “you’re so fat!?” It’s just like the time I went out with a bunch of friends and one girl went around the table and said something nice about each person, and when she got to me, she paused and said “And you….. have… NICE HAIR!” Yeah. No.
Umm… thank you? Yes, I’m undoubtedly someone’s “type.” I’m an attractive, intelligent, witty women. How could that not be someone’s “type?” And while this may come as a shock to the ol’ system, many people find plus size women attractive. AND, there are even folks in the world who are capable of loving someone (sorry to sound cliche here) for the person they are, and not their appearance or waistline.
Why not? Please enlighten me? I shouldn’t wear something because it makes you uncomfortable, is that correct? If I can rock it, and feel comfortable and confident in it (no matter what “it” is), why should I avoid wearing it? Style and fashion are so personal. Let me do my thang!
Yes, I am. I am 100% sure. I may even help myself to seconds. Thanks again for checking though.
I know that you mean well with this one, but it never sounds like a compliment. Where you’re going with this is the idea that while I may be fat, I still manage to be attractive and stylish. I can’t stress this enough: keep it simple. If you think I’m attractive and stylish, say that. That’s what I want to hear!
Oh, could I? That thought never crossed my mind. Thank you for calling that to my attention. What would I do without you? I could stand to lose a few pounds, and you could stand to gain some tact. Chances are, I’m a lot harder on myself than you could ever be. Never assume I don’t see myself, and please don’t feel the need to call the obvious to my attention. In reality, it tends to make matters worse.
Drives me nuts. Not to sound crass, but when you say that, it makes me want to say “Screw you!” You may mean this as a compliment, but what a woman most likely hears when you say this to her is “You have such a pretty face… for a fat girl!” or “Nice face, but the rest of you is atrocious.” Why be so specific? Any woman would be happy to hear the words “You are beautiful.” Stick with that. Trust me on this.
THE. WORST. Nope, not pregnant… just fat, thanks. No matter how thin or fat a woman is or gets, NEVER ASK HER WHEN SHE IS DUE UNLESS YOU KNOW FOR A FACT SHE IS PREGNANT! It’s a solid social rule to live by. While pregnant women are gorgeous, and I hope to be a mother one day, I am not pregnant currently. Ask a friend or something before you ask me about whether or not I’m having twins. Please. For the love of all things lovely and good in this world. I beg of you. It will spare me the embarrassment and a moment or twelve of self-hatred, and it will spare you from feeling like a complete and utter jerk. Win, win.